Etiquette for Children at Weddings

Although weddings are traditionally an all-inclusive, all-ages events, some people choose to exclude children from the ceremony or reception. Lets take a look at how to deal with these issues politely.

Many people believe that a wedding is an all ages occasion, where the circle of life is brought together to witness new beginnings. Others see a wedding as a chance to catch up with long lost friends and family and have a good old time, and that the last thing they want to spoil it are screaming children. Another reason not to include children could be that people want to keep the costs down.

If you decide not to have children at your wedding remember that it is a delicate matter, and there is some etiquette you should stick to...

• Do advise people clearly on the invitation about you preferences by stating 'Adult Reception', don't use phrases like 'No children' or 'Kids not allowed', it could cause offence.
• Do ask people to come without their offspring, but don't selectively include any other children.
• Don't be surprised if some people can't make it because of this rule. A breastfeeding mother or parents of small children will have hard time getting away, and if the wedding is a distance from their house or abroad, forget it.
• Don't let it spoil your day if someone turns up holding the baby at the last minute, give a big smile and be polite, then forget all about it and enjoy yourself.
  
  
  

If you are sure that you want the kids there, but want to minimise on fuss, here are some more dos and don'ts.

• Don't say yes to including children at the ceremony, and then not at the reception. This feels like you are treating the child as a decoration, and do not want the inconvenience of your little actor in the fun bit.
• Do hire specific carers for the little ones. A hired act, nanny, babysitter or family member to attend to their needs and keep them out of trouble gives you peace of mind and the parents a peaceful night out.
  
  
  
  
  
• Do tailor the food, ask your caterer for smaller plates, servings and even a kid's menu. This saves on money and the heartache of seeing your prime steak chewed up and spat out.
• Do provide children's games and activities, play-doh, colouring books or children favours, if they are entertained they wont be annoying.