How to choose the bridesmaids

Choosing your bridesmaids is not a task that you can take lightly. The bridesmaids play a very important role on the day of your wedding, so today we are giving you the keys so that you can make the best choice.

Bridesmaids are traditionally an Anglo-Saxon figure, and thanks to the Internet and films, they are gradually becoming more popular in other countries. The role of the bridesmaid is not only to precede the bride on her way to the altar and make sure that her train is well positioned.

Before the wedding she should help with the preparations, accompany her to choose a dress, keep an eye on her so that she doesn't become stressed with the preparations and organise the hen party.

• On the day of the wedding, she should bride from the first moment of the day, accompany her to the hairdresser’s, help her get dressed, occupy herself with making sure that the bride is perfect and has everything she needs. She should accompany her to the church and carry a small emergency kit for the bride (a small bag with lipstick, tissues, hairclips, etc).
• Also among her responsibilities is helping place the guests before the bride arrives, give out the programmes and rice or petals for when the couple leave the church and resolve any problem that may occur during the ceremony or the reception.
• As you can see, it is a lot of responsibility, for this reason, brides choose several bridesmaids. The number can vary between 3 and 8.
  
  

Traditionally the bridesmaids must be single, and close to the bride, for example, sisters, cousins or close friends. They must also be organised, efficient and able to resolve any problems that may arise.
In regards the dress¸ protocol dictates that they should wear matching outfits. Some brides prefer that they all wear the same dress, although we suggest that the bride chooses the colour and whether it should be short or long, and each one buys a dress that better fits their shape and as the same time, their pocket. That said, all of them should have a smaller bouquet than the bride but of te same type of flower and colour.

Wedding Ceremony Programmes

The wedding ceremony programme is a guide that will inform your guests on how the wedding is to be performed. It contains no religious references and is therefore perfect for civil ceremonies. If you are thinking of preparing your own, then take note

The other day we spoke about missals for religious ceremonies.  For civil ceremonies, there is what is called a wedding ceremony programme so that nobody misses a single detail of what is going to happen on your big day.

Here we tell you what they contain and also give a few suggestions:

• The programmes are usually in a book form, or a type of leaflet that has been folded in half or more times.  You could be original and make it into a pai-pai or a fan so that your guests can use it during the whole day.
• In addition to the names of the bride and groom, the judge or officiant of the ceremony, you could also include the names of the parents or the best man and head bridesmaid, or the witness. Also, if you were to have any, include the names of the bridesmaids and pages.
• Guide your guests through the whole day as if they were taking a walk, tell them when they are going to eat or dance.
• You are certainly going to play music at your wedding, so you can also include the name of each piece in the order that they are to be played.
• In the case of the reading of a special text, or someone singing a song, put it in the programme so that the guest can participate.
• As a final touch, we suggest that you add a few words of thanks to your guests for their attendance and company on this happy day.
  

In order to distribute the programmes, you can entrust it to your family to give them out at the entrance of the church or friends, leave them on the chairs or even in some baskets at the entrance to the church.

Symbolic Weddings

Symbolic weddings are ceremonies that bear testament to the union of two people without being legally binding whatsoever. Although usually performed at civil weddings, they are becoming more and more popular among couples. A Ceremony of Light also known as the Candle or Unity Ceremony, a ritual which symbolises the union of two people through marriage,  is a clear example of a symbolic wedding.

Symbolic weddings are ritual ceremonies that take many different forms, with the sole aim of bearing testament to the union in marriage of two people, without any legal value and without abiding by either civil or religious weddings, which means they can be incorporated into both of these.
They can be officiated by anyone: a close friend of the couple, a family member, or even a shaman if the bride and groom decide to "complement" their union with any sort of magic ritual such as the Mayan or Balinese ritual.

Symbolic weddings are becoming increasingly common at civil ceremonies, which are simple and quick. In this way the couple is able to add a special touch to their wedding. They are also a good option for those couples who belong to different religions or who are the same sex.

Also there are many couples who, after the passing of time, decide to renew their vows by celebrating a symbolic wedding.

Ceremony flowers

Bedcause of the number of weddings performed in them every day, it is not usually feasible to decorate a register office. Therefore, go to town with the bouquets, buttonholes and corsages, using the bridal bouquet as the inspiration and centrepiece.

For locations where you can decorate with flowers, think about where you'll place them: at entrances and doors, gates and porches, pew or row ends, window sills, and at the alter, pulpit, huppah or equivalent. Put flower arrangements strategically where everyone is looking at them.

What you create with flowers is endless. Your starting point for your ceremony flowers is your bouquet. If you have an idea of how you want that to be, the choice of the rest of the flowers can develop from there.

Work with your florist and venue(s) and do your homework: seek inspiration from magazines, websites and flower markets. If you've time visit a flower show. Study the venue, what you likeabout it and what you don't, how it looks and feels and the mood you are trying to create. Take into account the time of the year and the time of day and remember what is in season. Think of weddings you have been to at similar venues and what did and didn't work, what you liked and what you didn't like. It is about lading your florist where you are thinking with ideas, with pictures and drawings.

Exchanging wedding vows

Many of us can attest to the fact that the reality and enormity of the meaning of the commitment we were taking hit us full force as we exchanged our wedding vows. Nothing is ever as real in life as when we say it out loud!  This is not a moment to wrestle with other emotions - such as fear, tears and embarrassment - it is a moment to savour.

Exchanging wedding vows and in public, can be a nerve-wracking and emotional experience. If you are Prince William and Kate Middleton you've also to contend with the fact you are in a huge Abbey and with a TV and radio audience of several billion people - the expectation will be huge. (Princess Diana was so nervous at this moment that she got her prince's names wrong). I believe it is important to be 'present in the moment', to mean every word that you say, for everyone present to be able to hear you, and for you to enjoy it. I know that the best wedding celebrations are those that start with a meaningful and inclusive ceremony.

When exchanging your wedding vows, the person to whom you are speaking is normally someone you relate to privately and intimately. Most of us (especially the British!) are not used to speaking such thoughts and feelings publicly - actors train for years to perfect this craft. But on your wedding day you are bringing a new sense of reality to your thoughts and feelings by speaking them aloud, and with the weight and importance of what you say and how you say it never truer. Add to this that you are being heard not just by the person you are directly addressing, but by others too. No wonder the act of speaking at such an occasion can be a tense and emotional one!

There are a few easy steps you can take to help you on the day. Most important of all is to keep your breathing under control. So take a full and deep breath before speaking, form the words with the outgoing breath and make sure you hear them.

Focus on the person you are speaking to. Be consciously trying to convince your partner of what you are saying - putting the focus outside yourself will help you be less self-conscious.

Smile! The voice reflects how we are physically and our facial muscles affect the sound of our voice; when we smile we are more vibrant and alive. This is a serious occasion but not a sombre one."

Acknowledge the congregation as witnesses to your commitment and include them. Turn to the side and open yourselves out so that the congregation are part of the experience.

Practice makes perfect! Demystify the act of saying our own names. Start by saying them out loud around the house/palace. When you have got used to hearing yourself speak your names, start practising the rest of the marriage vows. Say them louder than you normally speak. Next, try singing them - it's not about how well you sing but about being more extravagant and elongating the words, which singing helps you do. When you return to speaking the words they will be firmer, stronger and have more colour. Then, by contrast, whisper them, and be aware that you are making the air define the words. Again, when you return to speaking them, because you have employed more muscularity in whispering than you are used to, the words will be fuller and the consonants sharper.

If you are nervous or overcome with emotion on the day, don't panic. Just try to keep your breathing under control. When we are nervous we forget and lose the ability to breathe properly. Breathing deeply is a form of relaxation and will have a calming influence. It's the key to breaking the cycle of feeling out of control.

So breathe deeply, speak slowly and clearly focus on your partner. Pause and take a deep breath as often as you need. Even if you are nervous and emotional the words will still flow. But above all savour this opportunity to share with others your commitment to each other.

Some cultures believe that once something is said, it remains out there forever. Remember this as you verbally commit to one another. It is a lovely sentiment to leave in the air…

Number of witnesses at civil wedding

This is one of the issues that often bring couples a headache. First of all there is to know that in Spain there are two kinds of witnesses in the celebration of a civil wedding. Each will appear in a different time of the act.

Witness for the processing of the marriage file

Its function is to attest that none of the parties is presented against their will. It is present to start the marriage record (before the wedding) to the registrar or town hall. At least it has to be a witness, and must meet the following requirements: Be an adult and not a familiy member

The requirement of not being a family member varies between Register's offices and municipalities, there are those who require it and others do not. You can resolve the question by just asking it.

Witness for the signing of the marriage act

In this case the only requirement is that there two adult witnesses present. It can be two friends, two relatives or two first to go through there and agree to be present during the reading of the minutes. The function of these people is to attest that ​​the act of marriage has been completed.

Civil Wedding Ceremony in Spain

Requirements for a civil wedding

 
The processing of civil weddings in Spain is performed at the court where information is processed and where they deliver the required certificate that needs to be presented at City Hall.

It should be noted that the wedding will be held at City Hall. The certificate of the court to marry in the City to issue a few months after being requested.

It can take place in the halls of City Hall, headquarters of the municipal districts or the Civil Registry. It lasts about 15 minutes, ends with the signing of the register of the parties and two witnesses and the delivery of family book.
 
You need the following documents:

• Photocopies of National Identity of the parties, or failing that the passport or residence card.
• Updated Literal birth certificate issued by the Civil Registry of the place of birth.
• Certificate of residence of the council of the population that has resided in the past two years.
• Certificate of nationality.
• Certificate of singleness, marital status affidavit that facilitates the court.
• Photocopy of identity cards of two witnesses who will be present at the ceremony of City Hall.

By provision of the Act 35/1.994 of December 23, amending the Civil Code regarding the authorization of civil marriage by the mayor and Instruction, the Directorate General of Registries and Notaries dated 26 January 1995, (BOE no. 35, 10 February 1995) introduces the possibility of contracting a civil marriage before the mayors of all Spanish municipalities.

Judge received the civil registrar, instructor of record, prior relationship of all data related to each other contracting party to be given on the registration of marriages, such documentation will be sent to Protocol Department of the City, which opened a Book Registration requests for marriage to occur.

Service Protocol, inform the intending, in good time, place, date and time of marriage with the warning of the need for the presence in this act of two adult witnesses.

In principle, it is noted as a venue for marriages, the Reception Hall of the Town Hall, in the days and dates indicated.

The celebration will be held with the following procedure:
At the place, date and time previously identified by the Protocol Department of the City Council must make themselves both parties by himself or one of them, by proxy who has been granted a special power in real-but always needed personal assistance of the other party, in addition to two adult witnesses.
By the Mayor or Deputy Mayor to act by proxy, shall be the reading of Articles 66, 67 and 68 of the Civil Code. Then ask each of the parties if they consent to marry each other and if, indeed, get it in the act, and respond both positively, declare that they are united in marriage.Immediately place the marriage, the Mayor or Deputy Mayor before whom is held, will extend the Act for his signature and that of the parties and witnesses and delivered to the document certifying the marriage. One copy of the Act shall be referred immediately to the Registrar for registration in the Register and for delivery by him to the couple, the corresponding Family Book.

Spanish widowed or divorced, in addition to the documents specified above also need:

• Widows: literal previous marriage certificate, death certificate literal.
• Divorced: literal previous marriage certificate, divorce with marginal inscription. If this note has not been practiced, must be submitted testimony to the Judgement, including Declaration of firmness.

Foreigners and marriage:
Article 70 of the Civil Code says that any Spanish may marry within or outside Spain. Spanish who wish to marry abroad: in addition to having to comply with the provisions of Spanish law (documents, old bachelor ...) will have to adapt also to the rules of the country where you plan the wedding.

If a couple is living abroad: You have to ask the Spanish consulate of the country where a declaration of singleness and of Spanish nationality.

If both spouses are foreigners: Under Article 50 of the Civil Code shall be entered into marriage in Spain under way for the Spanish or the conditions specified by the personal law of any of them.

Church wedding

Formalities necessary for a church wedding

 To marry in the Church need the following documents:

1. Birth certificate or baptismal certificate. Should be sought in the parish where one was baptized. If for any reason, does not reside in the city where he was baptized, will legalize the document in the bishopric of the city of origin.
2. Certificate of marital status. Which contains its current status.
3. Registration certificate. That can take on their city council.
4. D.N.I. A copy of your national identity, each accompanied by the original dating to collate.
5. Proof of premarital course. The church provides a series of workshops and talks premarital that "forced" to meet in order to get the marriage by the church.  

For widows or less, the requirements need to arrange for a civil marriage. In the case of separated here only to support the annulment to remarry in the Church (not worth the divorce). A month or so before the wedding goes through the parish to the Marriage Record. This file is delivered to the Bishop for the Canon contracted marriage certificate, which is delivered in the parish where the wedding will take place.
The Canon contracted marriage certificate, we must sign in the parish for presentation at the registry office and get the Family Book. If the couple are immediate family, must have a waiver (waiver is also required if one party is of another religion). Banns are published in the parish of both spouses, to see if there is any impediment to the marriage. And if not than now the religious wedding can be celebrated.

Wedding transport checklist

• Who needs transportation from the following list?
• Groom & Best man
• Bride's mother and bridesmaids (is one car enough?)
• Groom's parents
• Bride & bride's father

• Does anyone else need transport?
• Do You need transport from the ceremony to the reception?
• Do you need transport from the reception to other locations at the end of the event?
• Will cars be decorated with ribbons and flowers?
• Will champagne be provided in the car for the bride & groom following the ceremony?
• What is the back-up plan in the event of a breakdown?
• Is there easy parking for cars at the venue and a place for them to wait if required during the ceremony?
• Ask for a detailed breakdown of costs per car with pickup times and locations.
• Ask for on-the-day contact numbers for drivers and add them to your "Wedding Day Contact List". Give transport companies a copy of the list indicating your preferred contact in the event of an emergency on the day.

Transport

How will you arrive at your ceremony? On foot, in a vintage Bentley, a stretched limousine, a classic car, Cadillac, helicopter, boat, balloon, motorcycle and sidecar, pony and trap or a modern "mean machine"? Consider the distance you have to travel when choosing transport to the wedding ceremony. A slower vintage car, a horse and carriage or open-top sports car might not be the best choice for a long, wet or cold journey. Your mode of transport needs to be clean and comfortable and must get you there unruffled!

Other considerations in addition to budget include who else might need a lift. If you and your groom each have distances to travel to get to the ceremony the same car could be used. Similarly, if the bride has only a short journey, a car could return for her when it has dropped-off her mother and the bridesmaids. In addition, the groom's parents also need to get to the ceremony and might appreciate being remembered when transport is being booked. If the reception is at a seperate location, everyone who has been provided with transport so far will require transport to the next venue. If a significant  number of guests need ferrying to and fro and if the budget will stretch, you could consider hiring a coach or bus (perhaps a red or white double decker bus suitably attired with ribbons, or a 1950's coach?). Guests will love this gesture! And members of the wedding party may again require transport at the end of the day.

Before hiring wedding transport see and check the condition of cars, reliability is crucial. Ask if chauffeurs will be uniformed and if they carry umbrellas. Get a detailed written quote with a full schedule of pickup points and times. Ask what the back-up plan is in the event of a breakdown. Add the telephone numbers of local taxi firms to your "Wedding Day Contact List". Also don't be afraid to ask friends with smart cars for assistance.

Ceremony checklist

• Ensure the legal preliminaries are fulfilled
• If required, confirm the registar's availibility on your chosen day at your chosen venue.
• If required, book the organist, choir or bell ringers.
• Has the officiant approved readings, music and Order of Service?
• Supply copies of readings to participants.
• Arrange for the Order of Service to be printed.
• Arrange a rehearsal if required.
• Advise photographers and videographers of any restictions during the service.
• Establish whether confetti, rice or blooms are allowed.
• Establish to whom fees are payable and when they are due.
• Agree access arrangements for the decoration of the venue the day before the wedding and on the day of the ceremony. Confirm details with your florist.

Personalising your ceremony

It is up to you how much or how little you influence your wedding ceremony. Within religious ceremonies you are confined to what is appropriate, but that does not mean you can't usually add some individual or personal elements to the service. But you must consult your officiant and be guided by them. By law, civil marriage cerremonies cannot include any music or words with religious connotations. If you marry at a register office the ceremony is usually restricted to about twenty minutes. But civil ceremonies at approved premises can be more elaborate and you have a great deal of freedom to stamp your mark  and personalise the ceremony with secular readings and music, you can even add your own vows. We al anjoy different music readings and poems and use them on our wedding day in different ways to express our emotions, gratitude and hopes for the future. There are thousands of websites and publications you can consult to get ideas about such music and words, also browse among the shelves in bookshops and libraries.

How to decorate your chosen venue, photograph it, film it and how you prepare your day is covered in other blogs. But ensure you have liaised with officials and caretakers, that you understand what fees are payable and when, and that you thank everyone after the event. If you have any special requirements, such as a choir or bell ringers, ask your officiant whom to contact. Assume that there will be a charge for these services. Find out about parking restrictions and always telephone in advance of taking suppliers to visit the ceremony venue.

Before finalising and printing the order of service, send a copy to the Registrar or officiant to confirm it is correct and that your choice of readings and music is acceptable.

Ideally you should organize a rehearsal a few days or the evening before the wedding, dependent upon when the main participants are available. Registrars do not usually require a rehaersal, but you can still hold one to familiarise yourselves with the venue and the order of service. For a religious wedding the celebrant usually takes the wedding party through the service and advises who stands where, does what and when.

Ceremony Top Tips

1. Whether holding a religious or a civil ceremony, both, or marrying abroad, ensure the legal criteria have been fulfilled and you have the correct paperwork.
   
   
2. If marrying at ‘approved premises’ confirm the registrar’s availability before securing the booking with the venue and handing over a deposit.
   
   
3. By law, civil marriage ceremonies cannot include any readings or music with religious connotations. However, you are permitted to personalise your ceremony with secular readings and music. Many registrars also allow couples to compose their own wedding vows.
   
   
4. Within a religious marriage ceremony you are confined to what is appropriate. Consult with your officiant who may allow you to add individual and personal elements to the service.
   
   
5. Before finalizing and printing your order of service, send a copy to the officiant to confirm it is correct and that your choice of readings and music is acceptable.
   
   
6. Ensure you liaise with your officiant and the venue organizer or caretaker regarding any photographic or floral restrictions. Check too if candles are allowed and whether guests can throw confetti, rice, flower leaves.
   
   
7. Consider access and parking arrangements for your florist. Check who they should liaise with before and after your wedding for delivery, set-up and clearing.
   
   
8. Organize a rehearsal the evening before the wedding (even if the officiant cannot be present) so everyone involved can familiarize themselves with both the venue and the proceedings.
   
   
9. Brief your best man about his duties before the wedding day and ensure he understands what is expected of both him and the ushers. Make lists of what you’d like them to oversee – they are not just for decoration!
   
   
10. When entering before your assembled congregation on your wedding day, pause before you process up to the aisle. Do not be nervous – this is a room filled with family and friends who are present to offer you their support. Acknowledge this by walking slowly and making eye contact with as many guests as you can. Smile for your groom – you’ve now won over the entire congregation and will have a magical day!