Speeches

Speeches usually occur at the end of the meal, or before the cuting of the cake at a cocktail reception. It's considered bad form to interrupt conversation for the speeches between individual courses and it also interrupts the natural flow and build-up of events. Nevertheless, it is now acceptable for the first speaker to begin once the dessert has been served. Speeches are traditionally delivered at the end of the meal precisely because that is the best time for them to occur, as guests will be relaxed and more receptive.

The reason usually given for speeches occurring earlier in celebration is that one of those delivering them feels the prospect will prevent them from enjoying themselves until the ordeal is over. Only you can decide whose comfort zone will hve to be stretched. If doing things your own way, let your guests know. The Master of Ceremonies, the groom or the father of the bride could formally welcome everyone at the earliest opportunity, preferably when everyone has been served a drink. When weighting-up the pros and cons, remember it is easier to speak publicly to receptive audience, and hard to win over a hungry one! If the speeches will occur before the meal, then keep them very short. Especially if everyone is standing!

Check if your venue has a microphone. If not, ask your band or DJ to lend you one. Ideally, speeches should not last more than ten minutes. A toastmaster or Master of Ceremonies (this can be a friend) introduces each speaker by name. Traditionally the speeches open with the bride's father welcoming the guests. He gives timely advice to the newlyweds and ends by proposing a toast to the bride and groom. If the bride is going to speak, following her father is an opportune moment. But it's optional and her prerogative to change her mind either way at the last minute! Next up is the groom who compliments the bride, highlights the things the couple have particularly enjoyed  about the day and thanks both sets of parents, children (if you have them), friends and anyone who contributed to the event. He might present gifts to his best man, bridesmaids and the mothers.

The groom finishes his speech thanking and toasting to the bridesmaids. Finally the best man replies on their behalf. His job is to humorous with a tasteful and light hearted speech about the couple's history, particularly the groom's ! He should also read any messages, these days they are more likely to be received via e-mail than by telegram. There is no formal toast, but guests are invited to raise their glasses to the bride, groom and absent friends or family members.

To avoid a lull in proceedings and keep the momentum building, the best man/Masterof Ceremonies/Toastmaster should immediately invite the bride and groom to cut the cake, or if they have already done so, to take the floor for the first dance. If the first dance is a slow number, follow it straight away with something more upbeat which will encourage guests to join in.