Personalising your ceremony

It is up to you how much or how little you influence your wedding ceremony. Within religious ceremonies you are confined to what is appropriate, but that does not mean you can't usually add some individual or personal elements to the service. But you must consult your officiant and be guided by them. By law, civil marriage cerremonies cannot include any music or words with religious connotations. If you marry at a register office the ceremony is usually restricted to about twenty minutes. But civil ceremonies at approved premises can be more elaborate and you have a great deal of freedom to stamp your mark  and personalise the ceremony with secular readings and music, you can even add your own vows. We al anjoy different music readings and poems and use them on our wedding day in different ways to express our emotions, gratitude and hopes for the future. There are thousands of websites and publications you can consult to get ideas about such music and words, also browse among the shelves in bookshops and libraries.

How to decorate your chosen venue, photograph it, film it and how you prepare your day is covered in other blogs. But ensure you have liaised with officials and caretakers, that you understand what fees are payable and when, and that you thank everyone after the event. If you have any special requirements, such as a choir or bell ringers, ask your officiant whom to contact. Assume that there will be a charge for these services. Find out about parking restrictions and always telephone in advance of taking suppliers to visit the ceremony venue.

Before finalising and printing the order of service, send a copy to the Registrar or officiant to confirm it is correct and that your choice of readings and music is acceptable.

Ideally you should organize a rehearsal a few days or the evening before the wedding, dependent upon when the main participants are available. Registrars do not usually require a rehaersal, but you can still hold one to familiarise yourselves with the venue and the order of service. For a religious wedding the celebrant usually takes the wedding party through the service and advises who stands where, does what and when.